fleeting thoughts

1 - First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

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This is so funny that it will boggle your mind. And you will keep trying at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot,but you can't.
1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

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NAIL IN THE FENCE

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There is a lot of noise being made about the pay panel for the armed forces. The fact is that most of us are patriotic only when it comes to elections or a war. When there is no war, the question about whether we require an armed forces as big as this keeps propping up in our psyche. We do not realise that it is because we have an armed forces as large,as professional and strong as this that there is no war. Economic security might appear as a strong enough force in today's global economic scenario. But the day we are faced by an adventurist enemy, all the hoopla about economic clout vanishes by the backdoor.

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A little boy went into a drug store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits (phone numbers). The store-owner observed and listened to the conversation:

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A family in India was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother (Ma) arrived from  the US . It was sent by one of the daughters. The dead body  was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it when  they opened the lid; they found a letter on top addressed to her brothers and  sisters:  

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Have u ever heard about LPG gas cylinder's expire date?  How to find LPG cylinder's expiry date? 

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A man dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country.He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He   told, "First  they put you in an electric chair for An hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then The German devil comes in and beats you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all,so he moves on. He checks out  the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell.   

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Over the weekend, a friend filled up his car's fuel tank, and thought petrol has become really expensive after the recent price hike. But then he compared it with other common liquids and did some quick calculations, and felt a little better. To know why, see the results below - you'll be surprised at how outrageous some other prices are! 

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Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.' After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?' 'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies. 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?' Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

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#10 A below par performance is considered damn good.

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After 48 years of marriage, an elderly Gujarati man in Bombay calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of misery is enough!" "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams."We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!" Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, I'll take care of this." She calls Bombay immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are not getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR??" and she hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay", he says, "It's all set. They're both coming for Diwali and paying their own airfare!!"

Hearing Problem

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Urgent Information.....               If you receive a phone call on your mobile from any person, saying that, they're checking your mobile line, and you have to press # 90 or #09 or any other number. End this call immediately without pressing any numbers. Friends there is a fraud company using a device that once you press #90 or #09 they can access your "SIM" card and make calls at your expense. Forward this message to as many friends as you can, to stop it. This information has been confirmed by both Motorola and Nokia. There are over 3 Million affected mobile phones. You can also check this news in the CNN web site. PLEASE FORWARD THIS PIECE OF INFORMATION TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS