fleeting thoughts

A Cajun walks into a bar with A pet alligator by his side.

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A woman from New York was driving through a  remote part of Arizona when her car broke down.

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Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.
One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
 
His bed was next to the room's only window.
The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.

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Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he  followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so  exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother, 
'Mommy, I was at  the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods  with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving  Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt.. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane........'

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An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

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An evil Atheist explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a bloodthirsty group of natives. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself "Oh God, I'm screwed!!!!!."

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The average man's life consists of :
Twenty years of having his mother ask him where he is going,
Forty years of having his wife ask the same question;
and at the end, the mourners wondering too.

When we are born, our mothers get the compliments and the flowers.
When we are married, our brides get the presents and the publicity.
When we die, our widows get the life insurance.
What do women want to be liberated from?

A man was walking down a street when he heard a voice from behind, "If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

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Everyone in the wedding ceremony was watching the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle to give away to the groom. They reached the altar and the waiting groom; the bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride.

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