fleeting thoughts

Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school Playground and go into the woods. Curious,
he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.

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One of the city's top cardiac specialists died. At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front
of a huge replica of a heart made of red roses.  When the pastor finished the sermon, and everyone
said their good-byes, the large heart opened up,  the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed again.
It was a majestic tribute to the much-loved cardiologist.

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Before marriage..... 

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: No! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course! Over and over!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: No! Why are you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Every chance I get.
She: Will you hit me?
He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
She: Darling!

After marriage.... 
Simply read from bottom to top.

Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark...

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A little bird was flying south for the Winter.It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

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A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey,"but I haven't got the energy."

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An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

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A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

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A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

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A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

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1. You can stare at any Girl.......  

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2. You don't have to spend money on her.  

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3. You won't get boring result in ur board papers.  

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4. No girlfriend, no emotional blackmailing.

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5. If u don't have a girlfriend, she can't dump u.  

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6. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one loves to be a cool guy.  

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7. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring.

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8. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.

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9. Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore.   

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10. You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family  life.    

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11. You won't have to waste paper writing love letters.  No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop place.

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12. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them.  

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13. You wont have to see boring love stories instead of sports.

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14. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and,  therefore, u'll sin less.  

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15. You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.  

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16. You wont have to fight over having a 'special' friend with ur folks.

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17. No nonstop nonsense.  

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18. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.  

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19. No tension.  

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20. You can be "urself"  

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21. You wont have to hide your telephone bills.....

A person was advised by a holy man to gift a vegetable a day and told that he would attain great merit by doing so.

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An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem Science has with God, The Almighty.

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A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.
 
 
The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.
 

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The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman.

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