fleeting thoughts

Reading this blog will make you laugh, will make you think and make you reflect. Browsing through this blog will become an integral part of your daily routine!

2009/3/27

English is a funny language!

@ 09:11 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)

Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.
 
In a London Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
 
 
Outside a London second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
 
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
 
 
Seen during a London conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE  IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
 
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT  THE BULL CHARGES
 
 
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR,  THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
 

Read the rest of this entry ... (117 words left)

Cross Selling!

@ 09:10 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)
A keen immigrant Indian Marwari young man applied for a salesman's job at
London's premier downtown department store. In fact, it was the biggest
store in the world - you could get anything there.
 
The boss asked him,
“Have you ever been a salesman before?”
“Yes sir, I was a salesman in Rajasthan in India”, replied the young man.
The boss liked the cut of him and said, “You can start tomorrow and I'll
come and see you.”
 
The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And
finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked, “How many
sales did you make today?”
“Sir, Just ONE sale.” said the young salesman.
“Only one sale?” blurted the boss. “No! No! One a day…. If you want to keep
this job, you'd better be doing better than just one sale. By the way, how
much was the sale worth?
“Three hundred thousand, three hundred and thirty four pounds” said the
young marwari.
 
“What”, “How did you manage that?” asked the flabbergasted boss. Well, said
the salesman, “This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a
medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sell him new fishing
rod and some fishing gear.
Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he
said down the coast.
So I told him he would probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat
department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines.
Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn't be able to pull it, so I took
him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer.
I then asked him where he'll be staying, and since he had no accommodation,
I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6
sleeper camper tents.
Then the guy said, while we're at it, I should throw
in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer.”
The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, “You sold all that
to a guy who came in for a fish hook!!”
“No” answered the salesman, “He came in to buy a box of Sanitary napkins
for
his wife and I said to him, “Your weekend's screwed anyway, you might as
well go fishing.”
 
THIS IS CROSS SELLING

Boss is Kidnapped!

@ 08:56 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)
Employees of a Company are all worried. Some are roaming around. Some are in
loud discussions during office time.....
 
Some Trainees, who had just joined, notice this and enquire about what happened
to a senior employee, they ask, "What's going on?"
 
"Terrorists have kidnapped our Boss"
 
They're asking for Rs.10 Crores ransom, otherwise they're going to
douse him with petrol and set him on fire.
 
We're going from desk to desk, taking up a collection."
 
One Trainee asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?
 
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"About 1 litre."
 

Recession!

@ 08:41 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)

This Story is about a man who once upon a time was selling Hotdogs by the
roadside. He was illiterate, so he never read newspapers. He was hard of
hearing, so he never listened to the radio. His eyes were weak, so he never
watched television. But enthusiastically, he sold lots of hotdogs.
He was smart enough to offer some attractive schemes to increase his sales.
His sales and profit went up.

Read the rest of this entry ... (232 words left)

Engineer versus Manager!

@ 07:58 AM (8 months, 2 days ago)
Woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She reduced altitude and spotted a man below. She descended a bit more and shouted, 'Excuse me sir, can you help me?  I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago but I don't know where I am.'

The man below replied, 'You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude.'


'You must be an engineer,' said the lady balloonist.


'I am', replied the man. 'How did you know?'


'Well, answered the balloonist, 'everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip even more.'


The man below responded, 'You must be in management.'


'I am,' replied the lady balloonist, 'but, how did you know?'


'Well,' said the man, 'You don't know where you are, or where you're going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air within. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you, to solve your problems, and you are prompt to blame others for your fate and stupid deeds!!!!!!! !!!!!!