fleeting thoughts

Reading this blog will make you laugh, will make you think and make you reflect. Browsing through this blog will become an integral part of your daily routine!

2009/11/19

Giving When it Counts!

@ 10:05 AM (2 days, 5 hours ago)
Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a

hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who

was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only

chance of recovery appeared to be a blood

transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had

miraculously survived the same disease and had

developed the antibodies needed to combat the

illness. The doctor explained the situation to her

little brother, and asked the little boy if he would

be willing to give his blood to his sister.


I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a

deep breath and saying, 'Yes I'll do it if it will

save her.' As the transfusion progressed, he lay in

bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did,

seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his

face grew pale and his smile faded.


He looked up at the doctor and asked with a

trembling voice, 'Will I start to die right away'.


Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the

doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his

sister all of his blood in order to save her.

The Obstacle in our Path!

@ 10:04 AM (2 days, 5 hours ago)
In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a

roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if

anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the

king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by

and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the

King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did

anything about getting the stone out of the way.


Then a peasant came along carrying a load of

vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the

peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the

stone to the side of the road. After much pushing

and straining, he finally succeeded. After the

peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed

a purse lying in the road where the boulder had

been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note

from the King indicating that the gold was for the

person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The

peasant learned what many of us never understand!


Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve

our condition.

Thanking Those Who Serve You!

@ 10:04 AM (2 days, 5 hours ago)
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less,

Read the rest of this entry ... (157 words left)

Pickup in the Rain!

@ 10:04 AM (2 days, 5 hours ago)
One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American

Read the rest of this entry ... (160 words left)

Cleaning Lady!

@ 10:03 AM (2 days, 5 hours ago)
During my second month of college, our professor

gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student

and had breezed through the questions until I read

the last one:


'What is the first name of the woman who cleans the
school?'

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the

cleaning woman several times. She was tall,

dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her
name?


I handed in my paper, leaving the last question

blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if

the last question would count toward our quiz grade.


'Absolutely,' said the professor. 'In your careers,

you will meet many people. All are significant. They

deserve your attention and care, even if all you do

is smile and say 'hello.'


I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her

name was Dorothy.

Killing English!

@ 09:38 AM (2 days, 6 hours ago)

Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette...? "
*********************************************************************

Read the rest of this entry ... (215 words left)

2009/11/18

A Touching Story!

@ 08:16 AM (3 days, 7 hours ago)

In Phoenix , Arizona , a 26-year-old mother stared Down at her 6 year old son, who was dying of Terminal leukemia.

Read the rest of this entry ... (675 words left)

Family!

@ 08:04 AM (3 days, 7 hours ago)

 I ran into a stranger as he passed by,

                            'Oh excuse me please' was my reply.

 

 

                              He said, 'Please excuse me too;

                                I wasn't watching for you.'

 

 

                         We were very polite, this stranger and I.

                          We went on our way and we said goodbye.

 

 

                           But at home a different story is told,

                        How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

 

 

                         Later that day, cooking the evening meal,

                             My son stood beside me very still.

 

 

                         When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.

                        'Move out of the way,' I said with a frown.

 

 

                          He walked away, his little heart broken.

                          I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

 

 

                                 While I lay awake in bed,

                        God's still small voice came to me and said,

 

 

                              'While dealing with a stranger,

                                  common courtesy you use,

                        but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

 

 

                             Go and look on the kitchen floor,

                        You'll find some flowers there by the door.

 

 

                         Those are the flowers he brought for you.

                       He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

 

 

                      He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,

                   you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes.'

 

 

                              By this time, I felt very small,

                              And now my tears began to fall.

 

 

                            I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

                          'Wake up, little one, wake up,' I said.

 

 

                         'Are these the flowers you picked for me?'

                         He smiled, 'I found 'em, out by the tree.

 

 

                       I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.

                        I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue.'

 

 

                  I said, 'Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;

                         I shouldn't have yelled at you that way..'

                              He said, 'Oh, Mom, that's okay.

                                    I love you anyway.'

 

 

                               I said, 'Son, I love you too,

                      and I do like the flowers, especially the blue.'

 

 

                                           FAMILY

                    Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company

                     that we are working for could easily replace us in

                                     a matter of days.

                      But the family we left behind will feel the loss

                                for the rest of their lives.

 

 

                      And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more

                            into work than into our own family,

                                an unwise investment indeed,

                                      don't you think?

                                So what is behind the story?

 

 

                          Do you know what the word FAMILY means?

                     FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

2009/11/16

Attitude!

@ 08:26 AM (5 days, 7 hours ago)
 If
A=1
B=2
C=3
D=4
E=5
F=6
G=7
H=8
I=9
J=10
K=11
L=12
M=13
N=14
O=15
P=16
Q=17
R=18
S=19
T=20
U=21
V=22
W=23
X=24
Y=25
Z=26

Read the rest of this entry ... (43 words left)

2009/11/13

Which Son is Doing Well?

@ 09:25 PM (7 days, 18 hours ago)

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party

Read the rest of this entry ... (321 words left)

Two Stories : Must Read Both!

@ 09:23 PM (7 days, 18 hours ago)

STORY NUMBER  ONE

 

     Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned  Chicago. Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.

 

       Capone had a lawyer nicknamed 'Easy Eddie.' He was Capone's lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time.

 

       To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but Eddie got special dividends, as well. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago City block.

 

       Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocities that went on around him. 

 

       Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing was withheld.  Price was no object.

 

       And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong.  Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was.

 

       Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name or a good example.

 

       One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done.

 

       He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al 'Sacrifice's Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. So, he testified.

 

       Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street.  But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he could ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine.

 

      

 

 

 

    STORY NUMBER  TWO

 

 

       World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare.

 

       He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier  Lexington  in the South Pacific.

 

       One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank.

 

       He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his  ship.

 

       His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet..

 

       As he was returning to the mother ship, he saw something that turned his blood cold; a squadron of Japanese aircraft was speeding its way toward the American fleet.

 

       The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger. There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the  fleet.

 

       Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 calibers blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent.

 

       Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to  clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible, rendering them unfit to fly.

 

       Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another  direction.

 

       Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier.

 

       Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet.  He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft. 

This took place on February 20, 1942 , and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Congressional Medal of Honor.

 

       A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29. His home town would  not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man.

 

       So, the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

 

 

        SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?

 

 

       Butch O'Hare was 'Easy Eddie's' son.

Nutrition Updates!

@ 09:19 PM (7 days, 18 hours ago)

TO PREVENT STROKE DRINK TEA!
Prevent buildup of fatty deposits on artery walls with regular doses of tea. (actually, tea suppresses my appetite and keeps the pounds from invading....Green tea is great for our immune system)!

Read the rest of this entry ... (707 words left)

Engineers Vs Doctors!

@ 01:58 PM (8 days, 1 hour ago)

7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai.So both groups gather at Pune Station.

Read the rest of this entry ... (265 words left)

15 Most Unfortunate Town Names

@ 02:57 AM (8 days, 12 hours ago)

Penistone, UK

Middelfart, in central Denmark

Dildo, Newfoundland, Canada

Fucking, Austria.

Crotch Crescent, UK

Crapstone, UK

Intercourse, Pennsylvania, USA

Boring, Oregon, USA

Accident, Maryland, USA

Wetwang, UK

Hell, Michigan, USA

Hell, Michigan, USA

Embarrass, Minnesota, USA

Bird in Hand, Pennsylvania, USA

Titty Ho, UK

2009/11/12

Payment with Kisses!

@ 09:52 AM (9 days, 5 hours ago)
An Indian,working abroad wrote to his wife...
DEAR PINKY Darling,

Read the rest of this entry ... (144 words left)

Do You Believe in Genies?

@ 08:48 AM (9 days, 7 hours ago)

A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf.....Of course, the wife promptly whacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house
adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
" Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you... You see, I'm a genie , and I've been trapped in that bottle for a
thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and
blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!" "And now you,young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex
with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey,
you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you,honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other in every way. After about
three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"NO SHIT."
He said, "Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"

Fine Advices!

@ 02:53 AM (9 days, 12 hours ago)
ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully

Read the rest of this entry ... (245 words left)

Egg Attack on Your Car!

@ 12:46 AM (9 days, 15 hours ago)

 If you are driving at night and were attacked with eggs  on your car's
 windshield , do not operate your wiper  or  spray any water.  Eggs mixed
 with water become milky and block your vision up to 92.5 %.

Read the rest of this entry ... (23 words left)

2009/11/11

You Could Make a Difference!

@ 08:29 AM (10 days, 7 hours ago)

   As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on
the very first day of school, she told the children an
untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her
students and said that she loved them all the same.
However, that was impossible, because there in the
front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named
Teddy Stoddard. 
   Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before
and noticed that he did not play well with the other
children, that his clothes were messy and that he
constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be
unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson
would actually take delight in marking his papers with
a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a
big "F" at the top of his papers. 
   At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was
required to review each child's past records and she
put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed
his file, she was in for a surprise.

Read the rest of this entry ... (667 words left)

Do You Know Who Packs Your Parachutes?

@ 08:27 AM (10 days, 7 hours ago)

Charles Plumb was a US Navy jet pilot in Vietnam.
After 75 combat
missions, his plane was destroyed by a surface-to-air
missile. Plumb
ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was
captured and spent six
years in a Vietnamese prison.

Read the rest of this entry ... (218 words left)

Monastery Life!

@ 08:25 AM (10 days, 7 hours ago)

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."

Read the rest of this entry ... (107 words left)

Two Very Interesting Questions!

@ 03:19 AM (10 days, 12 hours ago)


Very interesting....

Question 1:
 If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three of
whom were deaf, two were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had
syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?


 Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

 

 Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts.
Here are the facts about the three candidates.


 Candidate A:
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists.
He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10
Martinis a day.


 Candidate B:
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in
College and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.


 Candidate C:
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks
An occasional beer and never committed adultery.


Which of these candidates would be our choice?

Decide first... No peeking, and then scroll down for the response.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


  Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
  Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
  Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question:
If you said YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it?
Makes a person think before judging someone.


 Remember:

 Amateurs .... Built the ark.
Professionals ... Built the Titanic.

2009/11/9

Cancer Killing Fruit!

@ 08:25 AM (12 days, 7 hours ago)

this miracle fruit that can kill cancer cells 100,000
times, more effective than chemo that gave you side effects.

Read the rest of this entry ... (1232 words left)

Singapore Airlines!

@ 08:21 AM (12 days, 7 hours ago)

Dad and his young inquisitive son were flying Singapore Airlines from Singapore to New York.

Read the rest of this entry ... (115 words left)

The Hat Seller's Tale Retold!

@ 08:19 AM (12 days, 7 hours ago)

A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees,

Read the rest of this entry ... (260 words left)

A Glass of Water!

@ 08:18 AM (12 days, 7 hours ago)

a) Two glasses of water 30 minutes before meal help digestion

Read the rest of this entry ... (30 words left)

2009/11/8

Men should make coffee and tea: The Bible says so!

@ 10:42 AM (13 days, 5 hours ago)
A man and his wife were having an argument about who

Read the rest of this entry ... (122 words left)

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

@ 10:41 AM (13 days, 5 hours ago)
I know I'm not going to understand women.

Read the rest of this entry ... (29 words left)

Wife's Revenge!

@ 10:40 AM (13 days, 5 hours ago)
"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman
wished to purchase.

Read the rest of this entry ... (55 words left)

Relatives!

@ 10:40 AM (13 days, 5 hours ago)
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

Read the rest of this entry ... (40 words left)

The Silent Treatment!

@ 10:39 AM (13 days, 5 hours ago)
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment.  Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning
business flight.

Read the rest of this entry ... (95 words left)

2009/11/7

Funny Questions and Answers!

@ 10:54 PM (13 days, 16 hours ago)
Questions & Answers for real fun
  
Q: What's the difference between cricketers and condoms? 
A: Cricketers drop the catches and condoms catches the drops. 
  
Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and a woman? 
A: Riding a bicycle you fix your ass & move your legs, riding a woman you fix your legs & move your ass. 
  
Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear? 
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night. 
  
Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? 
A: Because they are tired of using their own. 
  
Q: What's common between men and video? 
A: Both go backward... forward... backward... forward... backward.... forward... stop and eject. 
  
Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period? 
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble 
  
Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction? 
A: A teabag. 
  
* 7 qualities to be a perfect wife: 
Beautiful, 
Responsible 
Energetic 
Adorable 
Sweet 
Truthful and 
Self-Organized. 
In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T. S 
  
Q: Who is a gynecologist? 
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place, where most people find pleasure. 
  
Q: What is the similarity between men and rats? 
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES. 
  
Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology? 
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology. When the baby looks like neighbour, then it is sociology. 
  
Q: What's the height of recycling? 
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning. 
  
Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted.. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised? 
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day. 
  
* Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten? 
The boy's hand...... 
  
* Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed. 
Tarzan asked "Why"? 
          The animals told him......... .."Your tail is in the front" 
  
Last but not least 
Secret of long life... 
Morning two eggs, evening two pegs......and night between two legs…

2009/11/6

The Twelve Pound Nugget of Gold!

@ 04:04 AM (15 days, 11 hours ago)

A Husband and Wife, Both were very happy over the twelve pound baby boy that was born to them, Mr. Brown who could not conceal his delight, called up the editor of a famous newspaper and reported that he became the proud owner of a twelve pound nugget of gold.

Read the rest of this entry ... (355 words left)

Amazing Facts: You will be Wiser!

@ 04:02 AM (15 days, 11 hours ago)

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to
beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.
Hence we have 'the rule of the thumb'

Read the rest of this entry ... (545 words left)

2009/11/5

Sweet Revenge!

@ 05:03 AM (16 days, 10 hours ago)

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband when, suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."

Motherhood : A Divine Career!

@ 05:00 AM (16 days, 10 hours ago)

A woman, renewing her driver's license at the County Clerk's office, was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. "What I mean is," explained the recorder, "do you have a job or are you just a ...?"

Read the rest of this entry ... (387 words left)

2009/11/4

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? Different Reactions!

@ 03:25 AM (17 days, 12 hours ago)

How differently personalities react!!

     
Why did the chicken cross the road?

KINDER GARTEN BOY
 To get to the other side.

PLATO
 For the greater good.

ARISTOTLE
 It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.

KARL MARX
 It was a historical inevitability.

TIMOTHY LEARY
 Because that's the only trip the establishment would let it take.

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK
 To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

HIPPOCRATES
 Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
 I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

MOSES
 And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

RICHARD M. NIXON
 The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

MACHIAVELLI
 The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

BILL GATES
 The newly released Chicken 2003, will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.

DARWIN
 Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

EINSTEIN
 Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference and relativity.

GEORGE BUSH
 We are committed to establishing a democracy where chickens freely cross roads without oppression from terrorist organizations.

Azharuddin
I am totally innocent, you know, I'm unnecessarily being dragged into this, you know, because I'm from the minority.... . I neither know the chicken nor the road, you know....

George Fernandes
I am deeply hurt that this question is being asked after my 40 clean years of public life. I don't own a house, or a car, leave alone a chicken !!!

Mulayam
I demand a 50% reservation of the road for the chicken class, so that they can cross the road freely without their motives being questioned

ARJUN SINGH
 Our policy will ensure the development of socially underprivileged chickens so that they can also cross roads.

Abdul Kalam
Yes, why did the chickens cross the road? ... Please tell me why? .. They crossed to go to the other side of the road.... Now repeat after me ....

Advani
I see Pakistani hand in this ...

Vatal Nagaraj
No Tamil or outside chickens will be allowed to cross our roads, our roads are meant only for Kanadiga chickens!.

Bal Thackarey
Chickens crossing the roads is against our culture, my followers will stone all such chickens which cross the road.

Jayalalithaa
From reliable sources I've got the information that the chicken belongs to Karunanidhi. He is making his chicken cross the road to create law & order problems. The chicken has now been imprisoned under POTA.

Amitabh Bachhan
The chicken has crossed the road?.. Are you sure.. Very sure ... Really sure...

Venkaiah Naidu
 "We are very sure of the fact that the chicken did not cross the road. It's a conspiracy by the congress. The poor chicken has been made a scapegoat in this whole issue"

H.S.Surjeet
We are adopting a wait and watch policy. We have convened a meeting of the third front today. We will decide the future course of action after the chicken comes back..

Maneka Gandhi
Chicken crossed the road alone...!! If a vehicle had passed over it, we would have lost one of our dearest creatures. Ban all vehicles from using the road. Protect our chickens...
 

Laloo Prasad Yadav
I have introduced CHICKEN RATH, a special train for chicken so that they don’t have to cross the road.
 

Inzaman Ul Haq
Bismillah … It was a team effort, all the boys played really well, specially Afridi.
 

Osama Bin Laden
Chicken will ultimately destroy the western world. Amen!!
 

H.R. Person
It is a company policy. You will receive communication regarding this very soon.

2009/11/3

How Company Policies Get Made!

@ 08:17 AM (18 days, 7 hours ago)

Put eight monkeys in a room. In the middle of the room is a ladder, leading
to a bunch of bananas hanging from a hook on the ceiling.

Read the rest of this entry ... (235 words left)

The Two Wolves in Life!

@ 08:13 AM (18 days, 7 hours ago)

One evening an old man told his grandson about a battle that goes on
inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.
"One is Evil.  It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed,
arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false
pride, superiority and ego.
"The other is Good.  It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility,
kindness, benevolence, empathy,
generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

Read the rest of this entry ... (23 words left)

2009/11/2

Dont Drink and Drive: A Touching Poem!

@ 07:31 AM (19 days, 8 hours ago)

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.

Read the rest of this entry ... (365 words left)

Questions in an Idle Mind!

@ 07:30 AM (19 days, 8 hours ago)

01.If all the nations in the world are in debt (i am not joking. Even US has got debts), where did all the money go? (weird).

Read the rest of this entry ... (312 words left)

Priceless Words!

@ 07:26 AM (19 days, 8 hours ago)

A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.

Read the rest of this entry ... (239 words left)

Indian Epic Mahabharata Retold!

@ 03:34 AM (19 days, 12 hours ago)

Subject: Mahabharata

Read the rest of this entry ... (26 words left)

History Mystery

@ 03:32 AM (19 days, 12 hours ago)
Have a history teacher explain this----- if they can.

Read the rest of this entry ... (239 words left)

If Columbus had been Married!

@ 03:23 AM (19 days, 12 hours ago)

If Columbus had been married he might never have discovered America because of the following:
 

Read the rest of this entry ... (150 words left)

2009/11/1

Heights of Communication Gap!

@ 08:34 AM (20 days, 7 hours ago)

Mr. Verma comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue.. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

Read the rest of this entry ... (217 words left)

One Phone Call!

@ 08:31 AM (20 days, 7 hours ago)
An elderly man in Mumbai calls his son in New York and says,              
                                                                           
'I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and 
I are getting a divorce; 35 years of marriage... and that much misery is  
enough!'                                                                  
                                                                           
'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams.                       
                                                                           
'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says.    
                                                                           
'We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call
your sister in Hong Kong and tell her!'                                   
                                                                           
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.             
                                                                           
'Like heck they're getting divorced,' she shouts, 'I'll take care of      
this.'                                                                    
                                                                           
She calls Mumbai immediately, and screams at the old man, 'You are not    
getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling  
my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then , don't do a
thing, DO YOU HEAR??' and she hangs up.                                   
                                                                           
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. 'Okay', he says,    
'It's all set. They're both coming for our anniversary and paying their   
own airfare!!'